Good Words Handed Down

“What you leave behind is not what is engraved on stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.”—Pericles

Three lessons for a lifetime, from a life well lived…

1. Be Joyful

These difficult days, I walk past their smiling photo on my bureau and will once in awhile ask mom and dad, “all right, what’s going on Up There?” And all they do is smile back. For dad, it was part of his "good tools handed down." But today, I am focusing on the one on the right...

For mom, it wasn’t a plastic smile—it was genuine, and kind, and an overflow of what she felt about Jesus and life. Even in the pain. I remember it took mom a long time to get over losing a daughter shortly after childbirth, and she also often carried the weight of other people’s burdens as her own. But that smile. One of her friends at Summerhill said she smiled even when on her way to a doctor’s appointment on a cold day. Mom’s genuine smile was simply contagious. She might tell us today that her smile reflects 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: “Be cheerful, no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ to live.”

2. Be Selfless

Mom was continually giving herself away to benefit someone else, or meet them at their point of need. There are countless examples, but one that sticks in my mind was when we were at the burial service for my nephew Jason some 15 years ago. Mom noticed a group of Jason’s friends who had gathered off in the distance—and she set aside her own sorrow, traipsed through the dirt in her high heels, and went over to the group with a smile and invited them to join us. Her legacy of a self-less life is summed up in Philippians 2:3-5: “….with an attitude of humility, regard others as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal interests but also for the interests of others. Have the same attitude in yourselves which was in Christ Jesus…”

3. Be Wise

Mom was the wisest person I’ve ever known. She was often a woman of few words, but then she’d say something so profound that it cut to the heart of the matter. Wisdom listens before it speaks. Wisdom does not judge. Wisdom doesn’t enable. It’s just right, it’s what you need to hear, and always comes at the right time. I cannot tell you how many times mom’s quiet, profound wisdom helped me to see, or got me back on course. She was filled with wise words for life—something we all could use more of these days. As it says in James 3:17 (Living Bible), “Wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure and full of quiet gentleness. Then it is peace-loving and courteous. It allows discussion and is willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It is wholehearted, straightforward, and sincere.”

These are just some of the things mom would have wanted to be woven into the lives of those she loved and knew, because our world surely needs more of them. And so, not to just have them woven into our own lives, but then to “pass it forward.”

And by all means, with a smile.

From the Celebration of the Life of Patricia A. Smith (October 27, 1929 to January 10, 2019), with love and encouragement to all who are missing their moms on this day.